President-elect Harris bravely agreed to sit down for a long-awaited interview with CNN’s Dana Bash.
Of course, the pre-recorded talk with some restrictions, which will air Thursday night, will be buried over the Labor Day weekend, as Americans seek out the late summer sun and, notoriously, No watch television.
But our vice president is brave and strong!
And she won’t be alone: this former prosecutor will have her emotional support there, she calls him Tim Walz, as a human shield, to hold her hand and presumably change the subject if an uncomfortable case of laughter breaks out.
I heard CNN has already scheduled an MRI on Dame Dana’s shoulder as she is expected to throw a lot of easy balls.
She won’t be alone: This former prosecutor will have her emotional support flame Tim Walz there as a human shield, to hold her hand and presumably change the subject if an inconvenient case of laughter breaks out.
On the other hand, he moderated the infamous June debate that ended with Comatose Joe Bash. Maybe this really is hostile territory. Let’s hope military man Tim Walz brings his weapons of war…
So here are my five burning questions for our no-policy boss (I’ll eat my trucker hat if they actually answer them!):
1. How did the coup in the White House take place? In fact lower?
Like any self-respecting student of assassination conspiracy theories (don’t look, RFK Jr.), I’m desperate to know the timeline.
When did you know Sleepy was in full decline? Were you in on the conspiracy or did Nasty Pelosi and the Obamas want an open convention?
Who has been running the country? And now he has to change his triumphant slogan from “We did it, Joe” to “I did it through no skill of my own”?
2. Do you understand economics, stupid?
It’s great that you finally admitted that Bidenomics was a failure and that food, rent and other costs are bulging like Doug Emhoff’s belly.
But he has also touted his administration as a great success, and has in some ways blamed Donald Trump for record inflation and limited wage growth. What is the response?
And while we’re at it, could you explain how printing $25,000 for every new home buyer won’t catapult us into a crisis that will make 2007 look like Coachella?
3. What to do in case of Afghan amnesia?
Three years ago you boasted to one Dana Bash that you were “the last person in the room” when Biden made the catastrophic decision to withdraw from Afghanistan, leading to our global humiliation and leaving 13 American service members dead.
Many advisors warned you against it, but you smug ones rushed ahead.
Are you still proud of that deadly decision?
I heard CNN has already scheduled an MRI on Dame Dana’s shoulder as she is expected to throw a lot of easy balls.
4. Is the party over?
A campaign built on the flimsy foundation of forced “joy,” “vibes” and memes about a British pop star can only withstand the Trump earthquake for so long.
Even the brave New York Times has devoted more than an inch of column inches to those who claim his policy-free strut is weaker than a flimsy pantsuit.
The ‘fake’ dispute at Kamala’s guest rehearsal.
Does a sugar rush lead to a crash?
5. How will Tim get out of this situation?
From stolen military valor to false fertility stories implying his wife Gwen underwent IVF (her reproductive reality is far less dramatic), and now lying about an award he was never given from the Nebraska Chamber of Commerce: why is Does Tim Walz seem so allergic to the truth?
If he’s the “last person in the room” when President Giggles is making her worst decision ever, God knows what will happen!
Noah’s bravery
Freed Israeli hostage Noa Argamani has been attacked online for hosting a “Back to Life” dance party while her boyfriend remains held captive by Hamas.
What is the poor girl supposed to do, lock herself in a dark room and wither away?
Her mother died of brain cancer just days after she was liberated from Gaza, her boyfriend is missing, and dancing clearly irritates these troglodyte terrorists. So I say: dance, sister!
Freed Israeli hostage Noa Argamani has been attacked online for hosting a “Back to Life” dance party while her boyfriend remains held captive by Hamas.
Quick praise
This was supposed to be Taylor’s millennium, not Brat’s summer!
A gritted Taylor Swift praised rising superstar Charli XCX, telling New York magazine: “Charli’s melodic sensibilities have left me in awe since I first heard ‘Stay Away’ in 2011. Her writing is surreal and inventive, always. She takes a song to places you wouldn’t expect it to go, and she’s been doing so consistently for a decade.”
Let me translate: “Charli is getting old. Her music is weird and annoying, always. She’s been trying to make it for so long it’s embarrassing.”
Ben is having fun
The latest twist in the blockbuster about the breakup with Bennifer: scarlet-lipped ingénue Kick Kennedy (whose name makes me ache just thinking about it).
She is RFK Jr.’s eldest daughter, but is nearly two decades younger than the soon-to-be former Mr. Lopez.
Kick and Affleck have reportedly just been “spending time together,” and friends insist she doesn’t want to be seen as a “lover.”
The thing is, babe, if you live with a man when his wife has barely gotten a stiletto heel out the door, that’s usually how people see it!
The latest twist in the blockbuster about the breakup with Bennifer: scarlet-lipped ingénue Kick Kennedy (whose name makes me ache just thinking about it).
Be a man, Doug!
Washington Post columnist Catherine Rampell has called the chubby Doug Emhoff a “modern sex symbol” because “he’s secure enough in his own masculinity to sometimes prioritize his wife’s ambitions.” on his own.’
Would it hurt these beta back scratchers to admit that us girls actually like a little gristle on our man meat?
Hitting that
Margot Robbie showed off her Barbie baby bump, letting her pregnant belly air out in sunny Sardinia this week.
Because are So many famous women suddenly showing off their baby bellies?
Perhaps it is a sign of respect from celebrities who choose surrogacy to save their slim figures.
Margot Robbie showed off her Barbie baby bump, letting her pregnant belly air out in sunny Sardinia this week.
Horror story
What’s wrong with Ryan Murphy?
In 2022, the screenwriter of “American Horror Story” treated us to a pornographic version of Jeffrey Dahmer’s gruesome murders. Now he promises what appears to be an incestuous take on the Menendez brothers’ murder case.
For those who don’t know, the boys were jailed in 1996 for the double murder of their parents after what they say were years of sexual abuse at the hands of their father.
In the stomach-churning trailer for this final season, we see the bloodied, shirtless brothers hugging suggestively as a gunshot rings out.
If Murphy is stuck on which patient to choose as his next subject, perhaps he could turn the camera around.
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