Jane is 86 years old and describes herself as “reasonably healthy.” But having outlived her husband and most of her friends, she has realized that life, for lack of a better term, is no longer fun. And she wouldn’t care if it ended soon.
“I know I shouldn’t feel this way, because I’m lucky to have a beautiful daughter who I see often, but I feel alone,” she admits. “I feel like all I do is eat, sleep and run to the bathroom so I don’t get wet.”
She does not describe herself as depressed, anxious or suicidal, but adds bluntly: “I have always been in favor of euthanasia, as I see no point in living unless you enjoy life and have fun.”
Do you feel that she (and others like her who seem tired of life) should be candidates for assisted dying if it is legalized in the UK? “My simple answer is yes,” he says.
It may seem like a shocking admission, but Jane is not alone.
In November, The Mail on Sunday’s resident GP Dr Ellie Cannon wrote of her concern for a significant number of her patients who were not terminally ill or mentally ill but who no longer wanted to continue. They were, like Jane, simply tired of life. And Dr. Ellie felt, amid the ongoing debate over legalizing assisted dying, that their stories needed to be considered.
In response, we received hundreds of emails and letters from readers who have said strikingly similar things about having reached the end of their tether. And if assisted dying were available tomorrow, they would consider it.
Should his sad wish be granted? There is no simple answer, say experts who have studied this phenomenon. In fact, a growing number of psychiatrists and aging specialists believe that people may be suffering from a different mental health condition: weariness with life syndrome.
And with the right support and intervention, it is possible for them to find renewed purpose.
A growing group of psychiatrists and aging specialists believe people may be suffering from a different mental health condition: weariness with life syndrome.
Psychologist Dr Sam Carr, an expert on the subject at the University of Bath, says: “This is not the same as a younger person having depression.” The older people we see often have the feeling that life is ending: it is almost as if you have completed the marathon and there is nothing more to experience.
«Often these are people who say they have lived a full life. This condition is not always accompanied, as some might imagine, by a wave of distress, anxiety or panic.’
A Dutch research paper recently reported on the “experiences of older people who feel that life is complete and is no longer worth living.” In addition to frustration over physical problems and other losses of old age (career ending, children growing up and becoming independent), key problems included social isolation, lack of purpose, and fear of being reduced to a state of dependency.
Dr Carr adds: ‘Medical advances mean we live longer. However, we have also created a society in which older people are isolated, and perhaps that is why we are seeing this.”
In November, the Assisted Dying Bill passed its first stage in the House of Commons. At the time, Dr. Carr and his colleagues published a paper warning that we needed to better understand “life-weary” syndrome before the bill became law.
The legislation, if passed, would allow assisted dying only in extremely limited circumstances. People would need to be terminally ill with a prognosis of six months to live, while the agreement of two doctors and a court order would also be needed before a person would be legally allowed to help end their life.
But critics argue that older people who feel they are a burden – or simply that life itself is a burden – may feel pressure to end their lives, if it is legal.
In the Netherlands, assisted dying has long been legal for those suffering from “unbearable suffering”, and this has gradually been expanded to include those suffering from mental health problems. Research suggests that 3 percent of voluntary euthanasia cases are related to people tired of life.
And in Belgium, around 20 percent of the 3,423 assisted deaths between January 2022 and December 2023 did not involve people with a terminal illness.
Certainly, not wanting to become a burden was something that many MoS readers had considered. But they didn’t always see this as a negative thing. Simon, who does not give his age, writes: ‘What I don’t want, looking to the future, is to go on living when I can no longer do things for myself.
‘The constant talk that people like me don’t want to be a burden is complete nonsense. It’s not a matter of not wanting to be a burden on my loved ones or health or medical care providers, I simply have no desire to be a burden on myself.
“When I get to that point, I want them to help me die, without having to wait for the doctors or
lawyers to confirm whether or not I am of sound mind to make such a decision.
Another who shared his story was John, 81 years old. After three battles with cancer over the last decade, he is finally in remission.
“At some points you think, geez, I’m so grateful to be alive,” says grandad, a former engineer, from the West Midlands. “But sometimes, when you can’t do much, you think that if I died tomorrow, you would appreciate it.”
‘I used to be a very active man but now I feel useless and am becoming a burden, not only to myself but to others. I’m sure there are many others who feel as I do.’
Meanwhile, Iris, 81, says she lives in “an exceptional nursing home” but admits “I’m fed up (because) I can’t get out without the help of the staff.”
‘My friends have died and young people don’t have the same experiences as me and can’t talk to me about them.
“I’m grateful for my family, but I have nothing to look forward to and I know this is not going to change.”
What then are the solutions? “This is not depression, so antidepressants are unlikely to help,” says Dr. Carr, who sees no easy solution to the situation.
“This is potentially a natural phenomenon: we cannot expect people to live with vitality until the end.”
However, MoS readers repeatedly said that a big turning point came when they retired.
One of them is Jilly, 76, from the Channel Islands, who has been divorced and single for more than 11 years. Having enjoyed her job as an office manager, where she “felt valued and secure”, Jilly retired three years ago.
He barely sees one of his older children and never sees the other. She admits: ‘I’m disappointed when I wake up every morning. I will soon have money problems, having lived on savings, and that, probably without reason, embarrasses me. I am so, so tired of living and I have thought about ending it often.
Dr Rob Howard, a specialist in aging psychiatry at University College London, says these feelings are common.
‘For many of us, our identity and meaning in life are tied up with caring for family and work. Without those roles, we can lose a lot of self-esteem and confidence,” he says.
“We are seeing increasing numbers of people returning to work or staying in work long past retirement age, in order to maintain a sense of normality.”
In the UK, almost one in ten people aged 66 and over were still working last year, a figure that has been rising steadily over the last decade.
Although it doesn’t have to mean working yourself to the bone, Dr. Howard believes that finding a sense of purpose is key to avoiding feeling tired of life.
People need to find ways to grow, even in old age, and rediscover meaning through new experiences, he says.
‘This could be through volunteering, taking up a new hobby or finding a new role in the family. People should not accept being miserable as part of old age.’
He also believes that doctors should pay more attention to the mental health of older people.
He says: “There is a myth that older people are reluctant to talk about their mental health, but in our experience the opposite is true, and psychotherapy can be very helpful.”
Susan Pickard, director of the Center for Aging and the Life Course at the University of Liverpool, offers another counterpoint: she argues that the positive aspects of aging are often overlooked.
He cites Diana Athill, a former literary editor who, after “a life of moderate success… shot herself into the sky” at age 90, with the publication of her memoirs.
While acknowledging the loss, Athill found positives. He began taking drawing classes when he was 70 years old and observed: “I see things much better now than before…”

A Dutch research article recently reported on the “experiences of older people who feel that life is complete and is no longer worth living.”
She also discovered that there was a sense of liberation in “stopping being a sexual being” (despite having once been something that was important to her) and began to enjoy platonic friendships with men.
According to Dr. Carr, Athill’s attitude makes her “atypical,” and most of those interviewed view “profound old age” in a much less positive light. However, Professor June Andrews, an aged care expert at the University of Stirling, couldn’t disagree more.
‘Why is it that if a 19-year-old person says they are tired of life, we worry, but if a 90-year-old person says it, we say it is fair?
“It’s a sign that we don’t value older people as much as we should,” he says.
‘The truth is that there are many older people who have a great time. There is a bit of luck: they are lucky enough to be mobile and cognitively healthy. But not drinking too much, eating well, not smoking, exercising as much as possible, and taking blood pressure pills or diabetes medication if you need them, all contribute to this.
‘The other thing is to find ways to be of service, whether that’s volunteering at a church or a local park, or campaigning and handing out leaflets for your political party. I went back to school to get a law degree when I was 60, which people love, but things like that shouldn’t be extraordinary.
And he adds: ‘People who are older remain connected with other people, whether with family or the community. The people who don’t force themselves to do all these things are the ones who feel alone.
“It can be difficult, especially if you are poor, but most people have the ability to do incredible things well into old age.”
Some names have been changed.