Are you guilty of ‘revenge delaying bedtime’?

Do YOU ​​keep scrolling awake even when you’re exhausted? Psychologist explains why people who need more ‘me-time’ use their phones for ‘revenge delay from bedtime’ – and reveals how to break the habit

  • ‘Revenge delaying bedtime’ is the decision to deliberately keep ourselves awake at night to reclaim ‘me-time’ lost during the day, even though we are tired
  • Psychologists noted that it gets worse in times of uncertainty, such as a pandemic
  • dr. Lynda Shaw, neuroscientist and psychologist, reveals how to solve the problem

It’s late, you’re tired, you wanted to go to bed early and yet you’re still scrolling aimlessly through the social media feed on your phone.

Sounds familiar? You may be guilty of “revenge delay of bedtime.”

The phrase, which first popped up on social media last year, is used to describe the impulse to prop yourself up to regain some ‘downtime’ after a busy day, even at the cost of sleep and well-being.

This can be in the form of surfing the web, watching TV or scrolling through a social media feed.

‘Revenge delaying bedtime’ is used to describe the impulse to prop yourself up to reclaim some ‘rest time’ after a busy day. stock image

“Delaying revenge before bedtime is when we actively choose not to sleep in order to regain some sort of ‘me-time’ that we feel has been taken away from us by all the other priorities in our lives. causing us to spiral out of control,” explains Dr Lynda Shaw. (www.drlyndashaw.com), a neuroscientist, psychologist, and change specialist.

‘The brain does not deal with uncertainty, nor does it deal with gaps. So it fills the gaps with information and control search behavior.

“In this context, delaying revenge before bedtime is revenge for the out of control world we experience, how ironically it only hurts us further.”

Break the habit by incorporating ‘time for me’ chunks into your day

dr. Shaw said, “Instead of taking bedtime, try to better orchestrate your day and allow for breaks or “time for me chunks” throughout the day — it can really help.

“As long as what you do with those 10 minutes is a conscious choice, you’ll gain more control over your destiny, meaning you’ll be more likely to go to bed to sleep. It’s a win-win.’

The phenomenon has gained more attention in recent months after it was popularized on Twitter and TikTok by social media users who described being unable to put their phones down at night.

Among them was Saman Haider, a student at the University of Iowa.

“I came across this term and as soon as I read the definition, I thought, ‘This is me,'” she told Glamour.

She went on to create a TikTok video about the condition that has been viewed more than 17.7 million times.

“Fun fact, did you know there is such a thing as procrastinating bedtime for revenge?” she asks in the video.

“Where people will refuse to sleep because they don’t have much control over their daytime lives, so they’ll sleep really late at night, even if they’re super tired, because they just don’t want that free time at night, and they don’t want to that starts tomorrow?’

dr. Shaw pointed out that this behavior may have worsened over the past 18 months due to the unique stress and pressure of the pandemic.

“Since the start of the pandemic, there has been a huge sense of insecurity and lack of control over our lives, we are also working longer hours and losing our ability to socialize and unwind.

‘The boundaries between work and private life are now very blurred. More than ever, people don’t switch off and we are slaves to work, our families and all the other demands of our time.

University of Iowa student Saman Haider made a TikTok video about the condition that has been viewed more than 17.7 million times (pictured)

University of Iowa student Saman Haider created a TikTok video describing the condition that has been viewed more than 17.7 million times (pictured)

“Many of us feel we owe it to ourselves to sit back so we can have some influence on how we spend our time. Relaxing is now on the to-do list.’

In short, relaxing has never felt so important, but time to relax has never been so hard to find.

But dr. Shaw urged people who find themselves ending the night with “postponing revenge before bedtime” to try to curb the habit.

“Sleep is incredibly underrated,” she continued. “For example, we know that we consolidate lessons and memories when we sleep.

‘We also flush out toxins that have accumulated in the brain during the day and it is worth noting that lack of sleep can lead to anxiety and depression.

Understanding why we should prioritize sleep is incredibly important. Instead of taking sleep time, try to better orchestrate your day and allow for breaks or “time for me chunks” throughout the day – it can really help.

“As long as what you do with those 10 minutes is a conscious choice, you’ll gain more control over your destiny, meaning you’ll be more likely to go to bed to sleep. It’s a win-win.’

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