The former English director of cricket Andrew Strauss has revealed that telling his sons whose mother would die is the & # 39; most difficult conversation & # 39; of his life.
The father of two, 42, discussed life since the death of his wife Ruth and opened up about how he and his sons Sam, 13 and Luca, 10, deal with their grief in an interview with BBC Radio 5 Live podcast, You , Me and The Big C.
Reflecting on the death of Ruth, who died of a rare form of lung cancer, he told podcast hosts Deborah James, Lauren Mahon and Steve Bland:
& # 39; I remember going back from the hospital and letting the boys go to the side and saying: & # 39; Listen, I talked to the doctors and they told us that we will soon have to say goodbye to Mommy. & # 39; & # 39;
& # 39; That was the hardest conversation I had in my life. It is still brutally lively in my mind. & # 39;
Andrew Strauss (42) has revealed that telling his sons whose mother would die is the & # 39; most difficult conversation & # 39; of his life. Pictured in Lorraine on May 21, 2019
in an interview with BBC Radio 5 Live podcast, You, Me and The Big C, Andrew explained how their two sons, Sam (L) and Luca, deal with the death of their mother. Pictured after winning the Ashes in 2009
Ruth died in December 2018, a year after the diagnosis of an aggressive and rare form of lung cancer.
Andrew resigned from the Cricket Board of England and Wales in October 2018.
Talking about his grief, Strauss describes it as a & # 39; deep sore throat & # 39; and how the process is & # 39; very different & # 39; then what he expected.
& # 39; The thing with sadness is that there is no rhyme or reason for it and it has been totally different from what I thought it would be & he said.
& # 39; I thought I would be in pieces for the first two or three weeks and unable to fully function, and I was surprisingly functional to the extent that I thought, "is something wrong with me here?" "
He continued: & # 39; But then it touches you. And for me it doesn't strike me a whole day, it hits me 10 minutes, an hour, two hours. & # 39;
Andrew Strauss & wife Ruth (photo) died in December 2018 at the age of 46 after fighting a rare form of lung cancer. Pictured, Andrew received an OBE for services to Cricket Investitures at Windsor Castle in Berkshire on October 4, 2011
& # 39; It is like this deep sore throat that I have never experienced in my life. It is extraordinary and I have noticed that different things bring it about at different times. & # 39;
The former cricket director, who met Ruth in Sydney in 1998 and got married to him five years later, admits that he feels personally sad.
& # 39; You grieve various elements & # 39 ;, he explained. & # 39; You grieve your wife who has passed away, you saddened the fact that she had cancer and you saw her die, you saddened the fact that the life you built will not be the same as future life. & # 39 ;
& # 39; All these different elements touch you at different times. I am lucky that I have had the right professional help and I have tried not to think about it. & # 39;
Since the death of his deceased wife, Andrew has established the Ruth Strauss Foundation to honor her, to provide scholarships to fund research into rare lung cancers and to support patients and families.
He also told the podcast that while his sons & # 39; remarkably well & # 39; the death of their mother is not something they often talk about.
& # 39; They are doing remarkably well, & # 39; he said. & # 39; I was busy with a number of interviews last week to start the foundation and that was everyone's first question. & # 39;
Andrew met Ruth in his twenties and credits his success to her saying she encouraged him to pursue professional cricket. Shown during the Wimbledon tennis championships in London on July 5, 2017
Former English player Andrew Strauss during the ICC Cricket World Cup group stage in the Hampshire Bowl, Southampton
& # 39; I said: & # 39; They are doing amazingly well and they are brave and they keep moving forward with life. & # 39; I went home that evening and thought: you know what, I better ask the children.
He continued: & # 39; They don't want to talk about it often, if I'm honest. But I did say, "Come on guys, how are you feeling, what are you worried about?"
& # 39; We really had a great hour or two just talking through things. That is one of the things counselors say – children are not naturally going to talk about it, you have to give them permission to talk about it. & # 39;
& # 39; They have a few bad days. We had Ruth & # 39; s remembrance a few weeks ago and that was brutally heavy. It was much harder for me than the funeral. It was hard for me and the kids. It's hard, but it's remembering and that's what you want to do. & # 39;
And asking if he could ever work in cricket again, Andrew added:
& # 39; I'm not sure. It's a nice thing to be a fan again. Right now I have the bit between my teeth, I want to make this (the base) a success and you feel that you have a relatively limited time to hold it when it is still in people's minds, I try to grasp it with both hands. It is not work, it is a passion.
& # 39; I know we can do something incredible with this foundation. I'm lucky that I have a platform to get it public there. We have some great things to come. & # 39;
BBC Radio 5 Live and you, me and the big C
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