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The newly released photograph of four real mothers shows a glamorous and idealized version of motherhood. All dressed in white and with their hair immaculately combed, the late Queen, Princesses Margaret and Alexandra, and the Duchess of Kent, cradle their two-month-old babies, looking calm and elegant.
Let’s compare this to the shocking stories that have just emerged from the parliamentary committee report which show how difficult the experience of childbirth and new motherhood is for so many women today, and how substandard so many maternity units are.
Forty years ago it was understood that childbirth is a joyful but often traumatic event, which, even when everything goes smoothly, has a huge effect on a woman’s body.
All dressed in white and with their hair immaculately combed, the late Queen, Princesses Margaret and Alexandra, and the Duchess of Kent, cradle their two-month-old babies, looking calm and elegant.
Back then, any new mother would have stayed in the hospital for a few days, allowing her to get used to feeding her baby and adjust to her bruised body. An excellent system of home health visitors was also available during the first few weeks.
Today, there is little recognition of how difficult and scary it can be to adjust to caring for a newborn, and many women are kicked out of the hospital within 24 hours and left to fend for themselves and their baby without much of a clue. And that’s not even taking into account some of the damage they may have experienced to their bodies.
It is extraordinary that 60 years after that real photograph, the treatment of women in childbirth, childbirth and the early days of motherhood is no better, and possibly worse, than at the time.
I need to improve my ice breaking skills…
The art of presentation is a specialized skill: if done right, two people could be friends for life. Get it wrong and they will simply walk away, as quickly as possible, in the opposite direction.
“There’s someone I want you to meet” may be the seven most unwanted words to hear, and often see, a host marching in your direction at a party, when you’re in the middle of a perfectly pleasant conversation with someone you already know. , it’s discouraging.
One of my worst teenage memories was being dragged by a celebrity hostess through her glamorous room to meet an unbearably attractive and sophisticated young man who she thought was right for me. How could I, a shy 16-year-old, have anything to say to him? I was terrified and after about a minute I ran away from him and left the house.
That put me off parties for a while, but now I realize that the most memorable gatherings are usually the ones where someone new comes into your life. Or at least one where you have an unexpected conversation. The best hosts know this and won’t let groups of old friends lurk together throughout the entire process.
This was on my mind when we had a garden brunch last weekend, inviting several guests who didn’t know each other, so introductions were necessary. But what works? I heard myself taking the predictable route, reciting some sort of top-line CV of each person, watching anxiously to see if that was going to gain any traction, spending a few minutes waiting to grease the chat, and then sneaking off to find another victim or beneficiary of my hostess skills, depending on your point of view.
I don’t know my attack rate, but I’m afraid my intro skills need more practice.
Why it’s safer to stick to a single topic
Of course, conversation with strangers has become a more dangerous experience now that so many people feel they have to be cautious about what they say. Thank goodness, last week an employment tribunal ruled that it was acceptable for a senior academic to inform a Japanese academic that he liked sushi.
Who doesn’t remember the debacle when the late Queen’s former lady-in-waiting, Susan Hussey, was ridiculed for asking a woman at a palace charity event: “Where are you from?”, a phrase that should now have its own t-shirt.
And as for appearance compliments, which used to be a sure icebreaker, they can also veer into the danger zone.
As a woman, at least I think it’s still okay to tell a man that his jacket fits him. But a man who comments on a younger woman’s dress must weigh the risks. I suggest that, to be safe, he just comments on her shoes.
France is a loser in the style Olympics
The curious decision was made to remove the sleeves from French women’s jackets, leaving them with an oversized boxy vest.
While Team GB’s official Olympic uniform has gone the casual, athleisure route, the outfits the French will wear for this summer’s Paris Games have taken a more formal approach and are more than a little strange.
Luxury conglomerate LVMH has sponsored the Games to the tune of $150 million, so one of its clothing brands was expected to get that job. Dior would have seemed an obvious choice, but the privilege fell to Berluti, considered a prestigious tailor on Savile Row. It’s a men’s brand, so perhaps the curious decision was made to remove the sleeves from the women’s jackets, leaving them with an oversized boxy vest.
Add to this maroon and blue satin shawl lapels for both sexes and you have a look that makes BA flight crew uniforms look smart.
How refreshing, art without the yoke of awakening
Tate Britain has just opened Now You See Us, an exhibition of female artists. The title refers to how difficult it was for women between 1520 and 1920 to obtain recognition in that field. The exhibit demonstrates the many wonderful examples of women creating art as good as that created by their more lauded male counterparts.
Recent Tate exhibitions have been criticized for their subtitles, with too many works presented through the filter of cultural correctness. How fantastic it was to find non-judgmental information here.
Visitors must make their own decisions about whether the commission was for a beneficiary of colonialism, while also being pushed to understand what the artist might have been trying to communicate.
