As someone who exclusively dates older men, I was surprised when, at the age of 34, I developed a huge crush on Scott*, a colleague ten years my junior. I had no idea that this infatuation would lead me on an exciting adventure that would leave me plagued with regrets years later.
Scott was off-limits: he had a girlfriend, I was dating someone, and I was his boss, but that didn’t stop me from flirting with him at every opportunity. He seemed embarrassed when I praised and praised him and often blushed, but I kept up my offensive charm.
One day, I decided to take the flirting up a notch and started wearing push-up bras and looking for any excuse to bend over his desk. I caught him smiling the first time he saw my cleavage and felt a tingle of excitement.
An accidental kiss at our Christmas party started our passionate romance. As we said goodbye at the end of the night, Scott leaned in to kiss my cheek, but I turned my head and our lips touched.
He did not turn away; Instead, he grabbed my face and kissed me hard. Fortunately, no one from our team was present to witness our passionate embrace. I whispered to him: ‘My place is free; let’s take a taxi.
Nicole Kidman in a scene from her new movie Babygirl
She may have been younger, but she knew a woman’s body. With his gym-honed body and endless stamina, we spent the entire night making each other very happy. I made so much noise that I couldn’t look my neighbors in the eye for weeks, embarrassed by my cries of passion.
I wondered if Scott would regret it and dismiss our encounter as a drunken mistake. I felt guilty because neither of us were single, but I wouldn’t change a single moment of our epic night together.
As everyone came to work the following Monday, sharing their stories of epic hangovers from the Christmas party, Scott innocently asked, “Did you have a good time Friday?” giving me a wink. I nodded and found my face flushed.
Scott and I started working late, or at least that’s what we told our respective partners. We had sex whenever we could, often in my car, in hotels, and even at the boardroom table. It was a purely physical relationship; We never talk about our lives outside of work or our partners.
I knew the affair with Scott would fail one day, and when I interviewed for another role six months later, I knew it was time to call it quits. I had recently ended my relationship with my partner and was looking to start over somewhere new.
I didn’t think about Scott too often until 2021, when I had a drink with a former work colleague. As we were reminiscing about old times, she said, ‘Remember that hottie Scott? He felt very uncomfortable when you flirted with him. He didn’t know what to do with himself!’
I laughed awkwardly and said, ‘I wasn’t that bad, was I?’ It was just a bit of fun.’ Then my friend said something that gave me chills: ‘You were his boss; Maybe he thought that if he told you to stop flirting, you would fire him.
I can’t believe that idea had never occurred to me before: the unequal power dynamic and the fact that he initially seemed to resist when I approached him. He consented to everything after that first kiss, but what about the lead-up? We lived in a post-Me Too world and I suddenly felt like a predator.
Nicole Kidman appears in the film Babygirl, pictured, where she enjoys an affair with a much younger man.
I texted Scott that night for the first time in five years, feeling giddy about starting a potentially complicated conversation. I didn’t even know if he still had the same number, but ten minutes later I texted him: ‘Hey, long time no see! Are you free for a quick chat? I saw his number appear on my screen.
Once we got the jokes out of the way, I got to the point: ‘I’m calling you because… erm… I forced you to have sex with me?’
Silence. Then, a howl of laughter. ‘No, ma’am, you didn’t force me to do anything.’
“But I heard I made you uncomfortable,” I replied.
“Well, yeah, it was awkward having your boss tell you that you have nice arms when you go to work, but I just told people that I was uncomfortable because I had a girlfriend and I didn’t want them to think I was a complete jerk.”
I felt relief wash over me as we talked briefly. I was lucky that Scott was happy with what happened between us, but it made me reflect on other workplace flirtations that might have unsettled others.
I always felt Scott was a willing participant, but perhaps I was so blinded by lust that I didn’t stop to consider that I had power over him as his boss. It’s certainly made me wary of any workplace flirting in the future, although as I now work from home the only person I can harass is myself!
“I’ve always been treated like the underdog in every relationship I’ve ever had… being their boss felt like a heady aphrodisiac.”
As told to Raj Gill
It wasn’t until she was 60 that Naomi realized she could be considered a sexual predator. What is it with people today and their desperate need to put a label on everything? Until then he had happily carried out his extramarital affairs without consequences or bad conscience.
Her only rule of thumb was “don’t be on her own doorstep,” and that’s how she got through these little indiscretions without getting caught. Everything changed when his company assigned him a full-time driver.
He was very young, handsome and charismatic, and he understood her in a way that her husband never could. And she was his boss, this felt like a heady aphrodisiac, one he couldn’t and chose not to ignore. She spent more time with Aidan than her husband David, so it was inevitable.
Even though Naomi was 60 when the affair began, she still looked like she was in her 40s, on the rare occasions she met Aidan in public, they didn’t get stared at like she did when he went out with her. husband who was 20 years older.
She had fallen in love with an older, wealthy man, which made her increasingly determined to rise through the ranks of the pharmaceutical company, to which she dedicated every hour of her work.
Nicole Kidman (pictured) recently admitted that she had to stop filming the erotic thriller Babygirl several times because she was too excited.
She knew the moment she saw him that she would end up in his bed. His first task was to pick her up at the airport and take her to a meeting of board members; His flight was greatly delayed.
He had planned to go straight to the hotel, change out of his travel clothes, freshen up, and then give his speech, best-laid plans and all that. She had to hastily change in the back of the car, and although she had ordered Aidan to keep his eyes on the road, she caught him sneaking a few glances, which endeared him to her.
The meeting was a great success and Naomi was looking forward to celebrating, the first stop was the hotel, Aidan walked her to her suite with her luggage. When he arrived, he asked her to open the champagne that was cooling in the bucket and pour two glasses. And that was it, the beginning of the matter.
An affair that was so easy to pull off because why would anyone in a million years suspect that Naomi, who was married to a handsome and successful man, would feel the need to stray, and if she felt the idea, she would actually choose someone. on the payroll?
Only now has Naomi realized that her situation is not unique and may be more common than she imagined. The premise of the Babygirl movie struck a chord: she could see herself as the main protagonist, Nicole Kidman. It made her momentarily question her behavior; However, the moment she saw Aidan again, she couldn’t help herself.
That led her to analyze the relationship and she realized that the dynamic of her being the one who had all the power was a key part of the longevity of the affair.
She was in control, every aspect of the relationship was on her terms, she could end it whenever she wanted, she was not indebted to Aidan, she owed him nothing and he expected nothing in return. He was the perfect playmate, never demanding anything from her, never complaining, never questioning her role in her life, never trying to “put her in her place” like men had done all her life.
They saw her; He saw that she was very attractive and immediately made assumptions, usually erroneous, that undermined her and her abilities.
Aidan was the complete opposite, he opened her eyes to the fact that men could be different, she wasn’t sure how much of that was due to the fact that he was an employee. How different would things be if you had met on the dating scene? No, he shuddered at the thought. She liked things the way they were. She chose when she wanted to be with him and he played along.
She didn’t know it was possible to have a relationship like this. She had always been treated as the underdog in every relationship she had ever had. This was new, exciting, and she’s not about to let it go.
She rarely thinks about what the consequences would be if she gets caught. But she never thought much about it because the thought of losing her children was too much, but not enough to give up on Aidan. She’s even imagined scenarios of what would happen if her husband found out, and to be honest, she’s decided that she’s at that stage in life where she would just put her hands up and own up to what she’s done.
Naomi is very excited to see the film when it hits the big screen next year and wonders how many parallels it will have with her own life.
The names have been changed.