- BBC’s Hazel Irvine and former Team GB flag bearer Mark Foster have impressed
- Fred Sirieix dropped a ‘merde bomb’ live while talking about the rooster
- And what exactly was the purpose of the interview between Adam Peaty and Gordon Ramsay?
The first day of 16 in the Olympic chair soon turns out to be a quick refresher course in the art of the red button and test runs to find out whether tea and toast can be fixed in the time it takes the BBC to publicise any serialised drama Martin Freeman is involved in these days.
After six hours, there is a British bronze in the bag, a fencing surprise, a pile of empty teacups and time trial cyclists skidding in Parisian puddles.
As hosts France reach the final of the men’s rugby sevens, the not-so-smart TV has twice suggested it might be best to switch it off, and half the country is well on its way to becoming experts again in the technical details of stuck landings and splash-free tackles.
We’re all signed up and settled in as Hazel Irvine deftly sidesteps the appearance of two hapless characters in reflective vests outside the studio glass, busy doing something on a window-cleaning gondola, like an updated remake of a classic Morecambe and Wise sketch.
With Irvine in his element, the Eiffel Tower glistening in the drizzle and a general absence of competition, the BBC can relax and stick to what it does best, covering sport beyond the mainstream, with an array of brilliant commentators and analysts speaking to us in uncharted territory.
BBC presenter Hazel Irvine (pictured) has been accommodating in Paris so far.
Mark Foster (pictured), flag bearer for the British team at Beijing 2008, has been the best commentator on these games.
Adam Peaty (left) appeared in an interview with Gordon Ramsey (right) earlier this week.
None of them is more impressive than Mark Foster, measured and genuinely insightful during the breaststroke heats.
We don’t really need Gordon Ramsay doing an interview with a celebrity, Adam Peaty, talking for much of it about himself, then concluding by saying he did a “good job” when others on the payroll would do a better job.
And we could have done without peripheral sockets for what was being broadcast live on the iPlayer (mainly judo and badminton, it seemed) with QR codes flashing in the corner to make viewers think there might be something better elsewhere.
At least there isn’t the same desperate need to compete for attention as in football, with Gary Lineker and Alan Shearer attempting to outdo Keane Roy Keane in a comment that could go viral, although there was a casual merde bomb dropped on BBC Breakfast by Fred Sirieix.
Yes, him, the ubiquitous Frenchman from Channel 4’s First Dates, whose daughter, Andrea Spendolini-Sirieix, is on the British diving team.
His sparkling charisma was falling out of favor amid an embarrassing green-screen café scene complete with pastries, until he launched into an explanation of the meaning of France’s national emblem, the rooster, which continues to crow its heart out even when its legs are “stuck in shit.”
Co-host Jeanette Kwakye was quick to awkwardly offer viewers an unnecessary apology. JJ Chalmers stepped up to offer a pain aux raisin.
At least there isn’t the same desperate need to compete for attention as in football with Gary Lineker (pictured) and Alan Shearer trying to outdo Keane Roy Keane.
Fred Sirieix (pictured) dropped a ‘merde bomb’ on the BBC when asked about the French national emblem
Siriex’s daughter Andrea Spendolini-Sirieix (pictured) will go for Olympic diving gold for Team GB
On Eurosport, they embraced the dark, preparing for a long turn in men’s sabre fencing, which is basically too fast to watch, with fencers dressed as astronauts, pushing and lunging with many postures towards the referee, removing their face protection to implore.
The show didn’t stop, though, without Martin Freeman and company. That’s the thing about live sport, any sport. That’s the thing about the Olympics on free-to-air television. No frills needed. Once you get this far, you’re hooked. Goodbye to the outdoors and exercise. Bonjour, curvature of the spine.