Being ignored can be heartbreaking, but a relationship expert revealed that sometimes it’s for the best.
Ghosting someone means that a person cuts off all communication with another individual without saying a word.
Licensed marriage and family therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw said: The New York Times that victims of ghosting “begin to question their reality.”
She explained that victims of ghosting wonder where they missed the signs and what they did wrong, one of them being a TikTok user. Micki Kennedy.
However, professionals and social media users like it Stella Scholaja When it’s best to ignore someone and how to survive being ignored were revealed.
Stopping talking about someone means that a person cuts off all communication with an individual without saying a word and is a common method of ending a growing relationship.
According to licensed psychologist Roxy Zarrabi, ghosting has become a common way to cut ties with someone who may be difficult to end a relationship with.
“You may begin to question your reality, including your own judgment and signs you may have missed,” Zarrabi said.
‘These questions can quickly turn into unhealthy rumination that prevents you from moving forward.’
However, ghosters often have prosocial motives when ending budding relationships, according to a 2024 study.
“As someone who has been and is frequently ignored in my personal and professional relationships, this phenomenon was something I had been interested in for a while,” said study author YeJin Park. Psychology.
‘The ghosting phenomenon was further exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic, when most communications moved online, making ghosting even easier.’
Although the signs may not appear right away, it’s sometimes easy to tell when the fading process is happening, according to social scientist Lauren Rosewarne.
“The obvious sign is larger gaps between responses to messages or unreturned phone calls,” Rosewarne said. Curious wellbeing in 2023.
‘In-person meetings could also be repeatedly cancelled or rescheduled never to take place.’
Ghosters tend to have prosocial motives when ending budding relationships, according to a 2024 study by YeJin Park
Signs that someone is being ignored include in-person meetings being repeatedly cancelled or rescheduled.
Brenna Holeman, 40, spoke to The New York Times about what she thought was an incredible first date that ended in a ghostly manner 10 years ago.
She enjoyed a rainy night in a London bar with a male companion who kissed her goodbye and expressed his excitement at seeing her again.
“He even texted me that night saying, ‘I can’t stop smiling,'” Holeman said, adding that he wrote, “I can’t wait to see you again.”
Unfortunately, the two never saw each other again and instead of planning their next date, he ignored her.
Kennedy also recalled that a man ignored her in her 2022 TikTok video after he debated whether to go out or stay home for a date night.
“I wake up at 8:00 in the morning… and this guy is no longer by my side,” Kennedy said.
“I just laid there for a couple of minutes and thought, ‘Who knows, maybe he’s in the bathroom. ‘ So I walked out of his room and started looking around his apartment.”
The TikToker couldn’t find him and, after feeling ‘strangely uncomfortable,’ she left.
Brenna Holeman, 40, was ignored 10 years ago after what she thought was a successful date with a man in a London bar.
TikTok user Micki Kennedy recalled a ghost horror story in 2022 after she woke up alone at 8am and felt “strangely uncomfortable”.
Ghosting may not have been the best method for ending Holeman and Kennedy’s unserious relationships, but when it comes to safety and the ability to take a hit, nonverbally kicking someone out on the street might be the way to go.
“If they just don’t listen to what you’ve already expressed, then I think that’s fine,” Earnshaw said.
Rosewarne stressed that one should always prioritize safety when thinking about ignoring someone.
“There are certain situations where ghosting is the only option. For example, in situations of harassment or abuse,” Rosewarne said.
“Or when you’ve already expressed that you weren’t interested in pursuing things further and the other person keeps contacting you; in those circumstances, you can just disappear.”
There are ways to successfully end a growing friendship or relationship without having to ignore someone.
Etiquette expert Elaine Swann suggested someone might say, “I don’t think we’re a good fit, but I wish you the best and hope you find the connection you’re looking for,” according to The New York Times.
However, for anyone who has already had more than one date or make-out session with someone, Swann recommends breaking up with that person in person or over the phone.
Etiquette expert Elaine Swann suggested that anyone who has been on more than one date with someone should end the budding relationship in person or over the phone.
Stella Scholaja suggested in her 2023 TikTok video to think about how much space the ghoster would have potentially had in your life.
Ghosting victims can learn to pick up the pieces and move on to bigger and better things.
New York psychotherapist Rachel Sussman wants people who have been ghosted to remember that ghosting is “normal” and can happen to anyone.
“Even the supermodel says, ‘Oh, I shouldn’t have said this, or I shouldn’t have worn that,'” Sussman said.
Scholaja suggested in her 2023 TikTok video to think about how much space the ghoster would have potentially had in her life.
“Usually when someone you really care about ignores you, it’s because you already have a certain level of trust with them,” the TikToker said.
‘If you know what hurt you, then I would recommend writing a text… Write it down and really have your little Oscar monologue.’
He added that the ghost victim can keep this writing for themselves or send it to their ghost.
“You don’t need to sit there in silence, you don’t need to protect their feelings, and you don’t need to protect a future with them that’s probably not going to happen.”