<!–
<!–
<!– <!–
<!–
<!–
<!–
A leading sex therapist has shed light on why couples often gradually stop having sex, saying the “sexual currency” that keeps passion alive at the start of a romance fades with familiarity.
Appearing in Dragon’s Den, star Steven Bartlett Podcast Diary of a CEODr. Karen Gurney, a clinical psychologist and psychosexologist, told the businesswoman that she constantly sees couples struggling to keep the flames of ardor alive saying the same thing.
The mental health professional, whose new book is called How to Not Let Having Children Ruin Your Sex Life, explained that partners regularly tell her: ‘I didn’t really feel like it but we had sex and it was great, and then I said “why don’t we do it more often?”
Dr. Gurney said on the podcast that it’s often about the more you have, the more you want, saying, “That’s receptive desire, it arises from sexual activity.”
Clinical psychologist Dr Karen Gurney was a guest on The Diary of a CEO, hosted by Dragon’s Den star Steven Bartlett, and the pair discussed how sex life in long-term relationships often fails.
When discussing the concept of sexual currency, he said that sometimes it is the small gestures that diminish over time, but taken together, they are crucial to keeping a relationship alive.
He told Bartlett: ‘The problem with long-term relationships is that we see a decline in what I call sexual validity.
‘We start to see sex as an on/off switch. We have sex, but the rest of the time we don’t have sex together.
The Dragon’s Den star and Dr. Gurney discussed topics included in her new book, How to Not Let Having Children Ruin Your Sex Life.
‘We don’t kiss passionately unless it’s part of sex. We don’t send flirty messages like we used to in the beginning, we don’t spend time lazing around naked in bed on a Sunday morning being naked together in a way that might stimulate desire.
To avoid sounding the death knell for a happy sex life for a long time after a relationship, it is about, he said, maintaining those small gestures.
“Low levels of sexual activity with high levels of familiarity (seeing the same person every day) mean that our brains simply don’t encode them as sexual stimuli in the same way.”
She also had some advice for new parents: Caring for a newborn can leave one partner with sex on their mind and the other feeling like it’s the last thing they want to do.
Often, smaller gestures, like flirty text messages or just being naked together, fall by the wayside for couples who aren’t in the early stages of romance, says Dr. Gurney.
New parents who share the burden of caring for a newborn are likely to have a better sex life
‘A child’s crying has an impact on what happens in your sex life and your desire. We tend to see that the more times you get up (at night), the less happy you are with your sex life.’
Dr. Gurney explained that not getting a good night’s sleep affects how the body responds to the sexual response in terms of “the chemicals in the body that help us be primed for arousal to develop, but it’s also the cognitive distraction of being woken up by something quite.” bothering (a crying baby)’.
Parents should share the workload, he suggests, because “if one of you sleeps well at night and feels horny all the time and the other gets up three times and sex is the last thing on your mind, it’s probably for the best.” that they can do what I can do is try to share it.