A single mother who died of brain cancer was forced to make a difficult decision that will have a lasting impact on her four children.
Teressa Gates from Anglesea in Victoria’s world revolved around her children, Amber, Ebony, Jade and Zac.
Teressa died at the age of 49 in May.
‘Remember me for being a mother, which is what I am most proud of,’ Teressa said in one of her last messages.
‘Live well, laugh often and remember me having fun with my horses and with you children.’
When Simon, her childhood love and father of her children, died of a heart attack about 10 years ago, Teressa wanted to make sure the children were well taken care of in case something happened to him.
She kept her life insurance policy up to date, but then Covid hit, work slowed, and the bills kept mounting.
Teressa simply could no longer afford life insurance.
Teressa Gates’ final words to her children: ‘I love you all so much, to the moon and back and throughout the universe’
Teressa died on May 18, leaving her children Amber, Ebony, Jade and Zac, who were her world.
Teressa tried to talk to the insurance company to see if they could reduce the costs, but they couldn’t. Reluctantly, Teressa was forced to cancel the policy.
Teressa’s brother Jordan told Daily Mail Australia: ‘Teressa was saying we’re getting to the point where she just couldn’t afford it.
“And she says, ‘Well, I’ve been fine for the last 49 years. I’ll be fine.'”
“She said, ‘I’ll get the insurance again in a few years.'”
Just three months after canceling her life insurance, Teressa was diagnosed with lung cancer and told she only had months to live.
Jordan remembers her telling him, “Well, that’s not going to happen. I have kids to take care of, so we’re going to do everything we can here.”
Cycles of radiation and chemotherapy followed and Teressa’s health began to improve.
They then found cancerous lesions in his brain.
Jordan said Teressa wanted chemotherapy, radiation, the works, because she wanted to beat the disease for her children, like she beat lung cancer.
“Everything I could have, I was having.”
Jordan said at one point they stopped the radiation.
“They told him, ‘Look, your body can’t take any more and it’s essentially going to kill you.'”
“Then Teressa said, ‘Well, I’m dead anyway. So radiation might work. So why don’t we do it?”
‘She had a little argument with the hospital over the last few months, and they finally said, “You know, you’re right, like you’re going to die anyway. So you might as well just do it.”
Teressa’s childhood boyfriend and father of her children, Simon, died of a heart attack about 10 years ago.
Teressa’s eldest daughter, Jade, turned 21 just two days after her mother’s funeral. All she wanted for her birthday was for her mother to come home.
Teressa died on May 18.
“She actually passed away at home, in home palliative care, because she didn’t want to die in the hospital,” Jordan said, his voice breaking with emotion.
“She wanted to be with her family, her children and all her things.”
Teressa’s funeral, attended by more than 150 people, was both emotional and fun.
“My sister was kind of funny,” Jordan said.
‘She chose one of her favorite Kasey Chambers songs, ‘We’re All Gonna Die Someday.’
“That was their final song, it put a big smile on everyone’s face and we all had a good laugh.”
Jordan was overwhelmed by the way the local community came together for the funeral.
He said although Teressa had organized the funeral, the local Lions club provided food and drinks at their favorite pub and the support from the local Baptist church was incredible.
“Live well, laugh often and remember me having fun with my horses and you kids,” wrote Teressa (pictured when she was younger).
‘The community needs to be praised for what it has done and what it does for people. It’s an amazing little town.’
The timing wasn’t great: Teressa’s eldest daughter, Jade, turned 21 just two days after her mother’s funeral.
The only thing he wanted for his birthday was for his mother to return.
Jordan said Teressa was petrified that her children could end up orphaned.
“Unfortunately that’s what happened and I know it would have hurt him a lot.”
The new reality for Jade is that she is now not only Ebony and Amber’s older sister, but she is now their mother.
The three girls live together in a house.
As Jade’s uncle Jordan said, “They’re sisters, but they’re not daughters yet. So it’s very, very hard for Jade to be a friend and a mother at the same time.”
Jordan said he is proud of Jade and how well she is handling this totally unimaginable situation.
“She’s caught up in a mess. She’s a young mother with teenage children,” he said.
“She’s stepped up and is really just making sure the girls have what they need.”
The family is doing everything they can to offer support.
“I tell him that whenever he needs to ask me something or need help with anything, he just has to call me. And I’m glad he does,” Jordan said.
In addition to juggling her new role in life, Jade is also studying.
Jordan said Jade “has a business brain” and is working on starting a small business.
Teressa was petrified that her children might end up orphaned. “Unfortunately, that’s what happened.”
Although the girls receive all the support possible from their families, times are very difficult.
Jordan’s partner Tegan said Teressa did everything she could before she died to make sure the girls were okay, but the reality of life is setting in and expenses are increasing quickly.
Jordan and Tegan said Jade will get support from the government and they’ve been great, but it will take a while to get there.
These are everyday things.
Rent, appliances are running out, school uniforms remain, shoes remain, all the usual expenses of a young family.
“Amber only has one sweater that she washes every other day,” Tegan said.
They just ran over a kangaroo in the car Teressa left them too. So that needs some work now.”
To help the girls get started in the new life they’ve been thrown into, Jordan and Tegan have created a GoFundMe page.
‘Teressa was an absolutely lovely mother. She would have done anything for her children and for anyone else too.
They said any additional money will go into a trust fund to help the young family.
Jordan said her sister was an amazing person and she only had one last wish.
‘Teressa was an absolutely lovely mother. She would have done anything for her children and anyone else.
‘Teressa’s dying wish was for people to be there for her children, in any way they could.
“She said, ‘Please make sure my babies are okay.'”
Teressa’s last words to her children were: ‘I love you all so much, to the moon and back and all the way across the universe. I am so sorry to have to go so early.’
