A British woman who rose to fame as one of the UK’s first “traditional wives” has revealed she moved to Australia after the 1950s-inspired movement “became a monster”.
The traditional wives movement, which erupted in the UK in 2020, says wives should not work but instead spend their days cooking, cleaning, wearing modest, feminine clothing, and practicing traditional etiquette, being submissive to their husbands and “always putting them first.”
Alena Kate Pettitt, 38, from Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, who calls herself a “traditional wife”, tried to showcase the idea in Britain.
But she has since revealed how she stepped away from the spotlight, deleting her Instagram account and moving to Australia to live a more private life, because it has become “politicised” and because she receives “unwanted attention from men”.
She ‘stepped away’ from her social media page last year, despite it boasting nearly 40,000 followers, saying on her blog who feels ‘ashamed’ of having participated in the social media trend.
Alena Kate Pettitt, from Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, a self-proclaimed tradwife, attempted to bring the movement to Britain but soon deleted her aesthetic Instagram page and moved to Australia to live a more private life.
Alena, who started a “school for the improvement of femininity” called The Darling AcademyThey also felt that the traditional women’s movement had lost its way and had become a more superficial trend that had lost control of its core values.
Talking to him New Yorker She said: “It’s become an aesthetic and then it’s become politicized. And then it’s become its own monster.”
She worries that the new generations of traditional wives are “increasingly younger and more refined than realistic.”
Another reason she left her account was because of “vile messages, hate, passive-aggressive comments, and unwanted attention from men.”
All of this fueled the reason why Alena decided to delete her Instagram, however she revealed on her blog that she still stands by her traditional values, just more privately this time.
In an article published on The Darling Academy, she said: “I gave it a try. I thought that speaking to the media and using a platform with so many users would be a wonderful way to promote the brilliant work of housewives.
“But, as with any positive activism, good message or sound idea, over time it will be hijacked by the opposite of what you stand for and believe in.”
It seems Alena also decided to take a break from her blog for almost a year to create “certain boundaries” that she says were set by her husband, Carl, and members of her family.
However, the former marketing manager recently returned to the platform saying she “asked permission” from her husband to announce that they now live in Australia.
The 38-year-old “stepped away” from Instagram last year, closing her account which had nearly 40,000 followers, and said on her blog that she is “ashamed” to have participated in the social media craze.
She worries that the new generations of traditional wives are “increasingly younger and more refined than realistic.”
Alena explained that the big move across the pond was always on the table for them, however, it came a little sooner than they had anticipated after their residential address in England was shared online, making her feel “unsafe.”
Writing on her blog, she said their “hearts were no longer in England” despite almost buying a “luxury” home in Gloucestershire.
She revealed that the house would have been “too much work” and that with her husband working full-time the renovations would have been “painfully slow.”
The mother-of-one added that her privacy and safety were also “ultimately violated” on a gossip forum when her old address was shared and the new home was just around the corner, saying it didn’t have “enough distance” for her to feel safe.
Describing 2023 as an Annus Horribilis, a Latin phrase meaning a horrible year, she revealed she also lost friends after stepping away from social media.
She said it was “disappointing to feel used” but a “relief to be free from taking pictures” for Instagram.
True to her true traditional values, Alena revealed that she is going to blog and write like in the “early days” before social media existed.
She said her content will continue to focus on household chores, but this time with “healthy boundaries.”
Alena was one of the first and best-known members of the movement of women who spend their days caring for their homes and families and documenting their activities on social media.
She wrote two books expounding her Christian beliefs and principles of femininity, which her husband helped her self-publish.
In 2016, she published what turned out to be a kind of guide to traditional femininity and an autobiography of transformation through faith. Pettitt titled the book Ladies Like Us. Her next book, English Etiquette, was published in 2019.
On her blog, she said their “hearts were no longer in England” despite nearly buying a “luxury” home in Gloucestershire.
Speaking to the BBC in 2020, she explained of her blog: ‘I talk about etiquette, feminine lifestyle, housework and how to be a traditional housewife.
“I didn’t expect my husband to come home after a long day at work and cook for me. My job is basically being a housewife.”
Alena receives a monthly allowance for food purchases, along with a margin to “spend something on myself” so she doesn’t “always be asking for money.”
Alena admits she didn’t enjoy growing up in the 1990s era, when the emphasis was on breaking glass ceilings, and says she was “born to be a wife and mother.”
Alena enjoyed shows from the 1950s and 1960s, and recalled how her single mother worked full-time and the house became a “huge burden,” which became a turning point for her when she realized she “didn’t want the same life.”
She revealed that her husband also believed in the same traditional values and offered to “take care of her,” and admitted that meeting him was the moment she felt complete. “It’s almost like the fairy tale has come true,” she said.
Alena says she was a “career girl” in her twenties and followed the messages of the hit show Sex and The City, which she interpreted as telling women that working was “liberating and that they should follow their sexual desires.”
Not identifying with this character, she turned to shows like Real Housewives, but found the wives were “too rich to do their own cleaning and everyone was cheating on each other.”
She then went online and discovered an underground movement of other women who felt the same way, explaining that they longed for a sense of “belonging, home, uniqueness and tradition.”
Alena, who firmly believes that her husband “should always come first and he should know that,” said some feminists believe her movement is blaming them for their work for equality.
As for her view on feminism, she explained: “My view on feminism is that it’s about choice. To say that you can go into the workforce and compete with men and you’re not allowed to stay at home is, to me, taking away a choice.”
Distancing herself from the movement’s right-wing ties, she argued: “Being a working woman is about investing in your family and being selfless. So I would say the opposite of that is someone who is selfish and just takes.”
Alongside blogs and vlogs dedicated to the movement, which is also conquering Brazil, Germany and Japan, a series of books from the 1950s and 1960s that “teach” women how to be perfect housewives are gaining popularity again.
One of the movement’s pin-up girls is Helen Andelin, the American author of the book Fascinating Womanhood (1963), which teaches women that subordination is the “key to a happy marriage” and which has regained popularity.
And, a century after the end of first-wave feminism, and sixty years after the women’s liberation movement, Helen Andelin’s daughter, Dixie Andelin Forsyth, has launched a global “femininity class” with 100,000 followers.
Speaking to Stylist, she said: “The movement is growing because women are fed up with feminism in the UK and elsewhere. We say to feminists: thanks for the trousers, but we see life differently.”
