A psychologist has revealed the hidden ways an abusive partner may be manipulating you into staying with them.
Dr Julie Smith, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Hampshire, took to her TikTok to address those who may be stuck in an unhealthy relationship.
He often talks online about mental health, with videos on how to build your confidence, why you may be procrastinating and signs you might have anxiety.
In one clip, he talked about six key signs people should look out for in their partners.
The expert began by saying that abusers will often try to divert your attention from your friends and family to isolate you.
Dr. Julie Smith took to her TikTok to address those who may be stuck in an abusive relationship.
“They eliminate any outside perspective, so theirs is the only narrative you can hear,” he said.
The medical professional added that they change their mood easily, often going from affectionate to aggressive.
This can leave victims feeling confused about whether the relationship they are in is normal, healthy, and good.
The next warning sign is if your partner makes you feel insecure and like you can’t accomplish anything without them.
“They weaken your confidence, your own intelligence, and your ability to do things, so you start to wonder if you can function without them,” Dr. Smith explained.
Another warning sign of a manipulative relationship is if they limit access to your money and control your spending.
“It makes it seem almost impossible to leave,” Dr. Smith added.
The fifth sign of a controlling abuser is if he threatens to harm himself or you. Dr. Smith added that this can be a powerful way to trap victims and prevent them from leaving.
Dr. Julie Smith Said Abusive Partners Can Act Charming If They Feel You’re Going to Leave Them
The clip has been viewed almost 600,000 times and has racked up hundreds of user comments.
The psychologist went on to reveal the sixth warning sign, which is when the person you are in a relationship with starts making promises to change.
He added that they will only tend to do this if they feel threatened that their victim will abandon them.
‘The abuse is replaced with the charm and love you saw at the beginning of the relationship, you want to believe it can get better, so you give it another chance. But the cycle continues.”
She captioned the TikTok post: “For those who want to leave a relationship and blame themselves for finding it difficult to break up, it has never been as easy as they tell themselves it should be.”
‘If your partner uses any combination of these manipulations, you will be more isolated, vulnerable and confused about how best to proceed.
“Not because there is something wrong with you, but because that is the effect these behaviors have on most people.”
She added that finding a form of support is “crucial” and said it could be a friend, a trusted family member or a professional.
The clip has been viewed almost 600,000 times and has racked up hundreds of user comments.
One wrote: ‘[That]That’s why I divorced him! I am free.’
Another added: ‘This applies to abusive managers at work. They will isolate you, keep you very busy, and prevent you from seeking something better. I’m glad I resigned.
“I lost my job and destroyed my career,” confessed a third. “Please be confident and leave at the first spark of this manipulation.”
A fourth commented: “Thank you so much for making me understand.”
- If you need to speak to someone, you can call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge, free of charge at any time on 0808 2000 247.