A sex addict has revealed how she became obsessed with intimacy because her mother was “cold”, sending her into an endless loop of getting tangled in a stranger’s sheets every night.
Amanda, who chose to keep her last name and appearance hidden for security reasons, appeared on a recent episode of the podcast. We are all crazy alongside host Devorah Roloff.
The 35-year-old spoke candidly about her tumultuous upbringing with her distant mother, which made her “gravitate towards toxicity”, while describing her sex life as “porn”, explaining that there was “no love” in it.
Amanda admitted that it was when her first boyfriend left her at age 26 that “the animal came out of the cage” and she began turning to sex to gain “control” and “refocus” – confessing that she had gotten her daily “drug” and He even had “suicidal” thoughts because he couldn’t see himself overcoming his addiction.
A sex addict has revealed how she became obsessed with intimacy because her mother was “cold” (file image)
“My name is Amanda and I’m going to talk about being a sex addict,” she said at the beginning of the video.
She explained that her addiction started brooding when she was just a child because of how ‘cold’ her mother is.
Amanda said that although her childhood was mostly “normal,” her mother was a single parent and longed to live her life again, without the responsibilities of having a child at her side.
He noted that he saw his mother in several relationships, which made him believe that relationships are not centered on love.
Amanda explained: “My mother was very cold and I know a lot of that is due to her mother and then her mother’s mother, it’s just a vicious cycle.”
The sex addict noticed that things began to escalate during her relationship with her first boyfriend, whom she referred to as E.
He described sex with E, who he was with on and off for 12 years, as “very aggressive” and referred to it as “porn.”
The couple’s relationship did not involve “love making”, and Amanda claimed that E had a “drinking problem”.
Amanda, who chose to keep her last name and appearance hidden for safety reasons, appeared on a recent episode of the We’re All Insane podcast alongside host Devorah Roloff.
Despite being toxic to each other, Amanda remained in the relationship until she finally became pregnant.
And while Amanda waited anxiously, things took a tragic turn when she lost the baby.
Two months later, E packed his bags and left her for good, which he now calls “the best thing” that happened to him.
After the breakup, Amanda found herself looking to have sex with anyone.
She explained: I was just playing the field in a very irresponsible way because I hurt people who really didn’t need to be hurt. It was all for the gratification of my instinct to regain my control and feed my ego and everything else I felt I had lost for so long.
‘I was still recovering from the death of my son. I really didn’t even know the right way to fix it. I was just a mess to say the least, my The state of life was very, very low, I just felt like I was surviving, getting by, doing what I had to do and very, very, very numb.’
Two years after E left her, Amanda got into a “situation” with a man she called Em.
He found himself having the same problems he had with E and became unfaithful so he could gain “control” and get his “fix.”
Amanda said that after having sex with someone, no matter who it was, she felt like she could finally “breathe.”
However, he kept his infidelity a secret from Em, and when he discovered her secret, Amanda felt like her life was over.
She said: “I was hysterical, I literally felt emotionally unhinged.” “I felt very, very suicidal.”
However, despite being upset about the end of her love story with Em, she still had sex with other people.
He explained that his sexual desire was due to his “big ego.” She added: “Unfortunately I have a very big ego, and that’s one of the reasons I’m addicted to sex, it’s because I have a big ego and once my ego died, I didn’t want to live.” not anymore.’
Amanda pointed out that while it’s healthy to use sex for pleasure and because you have a connection with someone, she knew she had a problem because she was being intimate so she could gain “power.”
“I’m a sex addict, I’m a sex addict, but that’s not all I am,” she said toward the end of the clip.
Amanda noticed that she began to heal and recover from her addiction, as well as the shame caused by becoming a Buddhist and attending addiction meetings.