Not long ago, I found myself at a party full of aging Sydney personalities.
And when I talk about aging I mean forty and fifty years old. So, no, they’re not old (I turned 40 in August), but they’re definitely experienced enough to have earned their reputation as key players in the Bondi party scene back in the 2010s.
As I surveyed the room, I noticed that the women’s faces were tight and shiny (the glow of Botox is hard to miss, mine included!), while the men looked like they’d aged a decade overnight. .
This wasn’t a “George Clooney glowing” type of aging; it was more “Charlie Sheen at the end of a bender.” It was a stark reminder of how years of partying and substance abuse can take their toll on even the most glamorous people.
Nevertheless, it was a glorious afternoon of wine and snacks untouched (thanks, Ozempic). It was a pretty good way to catch up, until the biggest partier in the room uttered a single, very familiar word: ‘Bags?’
(A quick explanation for you Brits and Americans: we Aussies call cocaine “bags” because even a one-syllable word needs a nickname here…)
Don’t get me wrong, I’m no angel, but my first thought was, “This is a classy lunch.” Aren’t we over this? Apparently not. Within an hour, a dodgy looking guy arrived with a “delivery.” Soon after, half of the group was biting their faces.
This might have been nice when they were in their twenties or thirties, but most of us had jobs to do the next day. Some had children at home. Anyone over 40 knows that wine hangovers are bad enough, let alone the depressing agony of a cocaine high.
The 2010s were a wild time. Mail+ columnist Jana Hocking (left) was neck-deep in Sydney’s party scene back then, when Instagram was new and cocktails didn’t cost $25.
By her own admission, Jana was no angel. But she says it’s time for the ‘Peter Pans of Sydney’ – the men who are still partying well into their forties – to give up bad habits. There is no suggestion that the other woman in this photograph has used illegal drugs.
It slowly dawned on me: these people we once admired as Sydney’s party animals were now…addicts. And they weren’t aging well.
One of my former lovers seemed particularly tough.
Years of late-night revelry had aged him beyond recognition. As he talked about his latest business, I felt a pang of sadness. This once vibrant and charismatic man was now a shell of his former self. (You’re probably reading this. Sorry, buddy…)
As I barked incessantly, my crush quickly evaporated. My 23-year-old self sobbed internally as she realized she was now dodging a man she had once fantasized about.
Reflecting on other recent outings, I couldn’t help but remember, let’s put it delicately, the “problems” I had encountered.
For example, the guy I was dating who surprised me by apologizing in the middle of the relationship. “Sorry, dear, I seem to have cocaine.” Bright! I was expecting a night of naked gymnastics; instead I have a flaccid penis and some meaningless ramblings.
So tell me, Peter Pans of Sydney…why? Why trade a night of champagne-fueled fun, good company, and a bit of slapping and tickling at home for a night of gum chewing, mindless chatter, and paranoia?
Sorry, guys. it’s bad treatment, especially for us women.
Jana says some men she’s known for decades still party like they’re in their twenties, and it’s leading to embarrassing failures in the bedroom, not to mention heart problems.
Another male friend, in his early fifties, confessed that his doctor had warned him that years of “shall we get a bag?” had caused a terrifying heart attack. With a scared look in his eyes, he admitted to me, “I think I might be a little addicted.” Oh, do you think?
Then there was the colleague who, during a weekday dinner, spent the entire night blowing his nose and lamenting a slump three nights earlier. This grown man, with a blessed life, was a shell of himself and paid a high price for the sins of the weekend. It’s something that happens regularly.
Most of us in that party scene grew up, found more important priorities, and resigned ourselves to the occasional hangover.
But these men never slowed down and paid a high price. They’ve lost high-paying jobs (hello, entertainment industry layoffs), aged prematurely, and seen their marriages fall apart. Their wives, tired of the bad moods and coming home at 6 in the morning, decided that enough was enough.
Now, these once-envied party animals are dealing with a host of health problems due to years of cocaine abuse. When they complain about their health, I can’t help but think: ‘You’re 52 and still partying like you’re 22. What the hell did you expect?’
And let’s not even talk about the hypocrisy of those who refused vaccines during Covid because ‘I won’t put that in my body.’ I had literally seen them snorting cocaine on the toilet seat in a dingy pub. But of course, tell me everything about bodily autonomy.
When the party ended, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had just witnessed a train wreck in slow motion. These Peter Pans were trapped in a cycle of self-destruction, chasing a fleeting high that could cost them everything.
Cringe.
I felt sorry for my younger self, who once idolized these powerful and charismatic (formerly) handsome men. I felt even more sorry for them. What a waste of life!
So here’s the ugly truth your friendly neighborhood cocaine dealer won’t tell you:
1. You will look old: Cocaine accelerates aging, especially in the brain. Studies show that users exhibit changes consistent with much older people.
2. Your brain is going to rot: Memory, attention and decision making are affected and worsen with age and prolonged use. We all have that friend who is noticeably “slower” than before.
3. You will be a walking heart attack: Cocaine increases the risk of heart attacks and strokes, especially in older users.
4. You will have a soft and useless c***: Vasoconstriction caused by cocaine reduces blood flow, causing the dreaded “coke.” I have seen it many times. And yes, we all talk about it.
5. Goodbye libido: Even if you can achieve an erection, cocaine decreases sexual desire and satisfaction. I mean, isn’t that reason enough?
6. Good luck having a baby: Both men and women face fertility problems related to cocaine use.
7. You will end up broke: Drug habits deplete financial resources faster than one can say, ‘Stock market?’ Wouldn’t you prefer a real bag? Or a smart suit? Lasts longer.
8. See you later, employment: Substance use wreaks havoc on careers and finances.
9. It’s only a matter of time before you get caught: Forget the “everyone does it” excuse. When you get caught with coke, you’re screwed. The legal ramifications of possession, trading or trafficking are serious and very embarrassing if you have a public profile.
While the short-term euphoria may seem fun, the long-term consequences of being a cocaine addict in your 40s and 50s are anything but.
It’s worth it? Spoiler alert: no.