After the breakup of his 40-year marriage and the loss of a lifelong friend, Stuart Arfield didn’t know where to turn. The musician felt he had “lost himself” and even quit his job.
The 68-year-old says: “I was a person who thought, ‘Depressed? Come on, there are worse things.’
His GP prescribed him antidepressants which he said had “little effect”. But later, at the doctor’s surgery, he saw a poster about the counseling services of the charity Mind which made him take the first step towards therapy.
Stuart says the weekly talk therapy he received for six months “had a huge impact.”
“From the beginning I felt like I was in the right place,” he says. ‘In the first session I felt it was natural to start talking and I found the process really powerful.
‘You start to reflect on yourself, you step back and think, ‘I’m here with my life now’ and you start to see flashes of light. Before, I felt like my world was collapsing around me, but now I’m much better. It has completely changed my relationships with friends and family and I can live life again.’
Stuart is far from alone. An increasing number of people in your age group are experiencing mental health problems.
New data shows that more than half of people over 65 have had mental health problems in the last five years, but only a quarter have sought therapy or counselling.
Stuart Arfield, 68, turned to therapy after his marriage broke down and he lost a lifelong friend.
The research, carried out for the British Association for Counseling and Psychotherapy (BACP) by polling company YouGov, was shared exclusively with The Mail on Sunday to provide insight into the mental health challenges for people over 65.
The survey, which interviewed more than 5,000 adults, found that stress was the most common problem in that age group. One in five also said they had experienced depression and almost a third said they suffered from anxiety.
Last month, Mail on Sunday columnist Dr Ellie Cannon detailed her experience with an elderly patient who had turned to psychotherapy. He recalled seeing the patient who had recently recovered from a period in intensive care.
“Not only did it ease the mental trauma of his illness, it also helped him come to terms with the depression he had been suffering from for decades,” Dr. Ellie wrote. “It made me wonder whether many GPs mistakenly believe there is no point in suggesting therapy for older people.” In response, we received dozens of moving letters and emails from people who had had life-changing experiences with the treatment.
Andrew Stevens, 62, a retired mechanic from Birmingham, said: “I had always suffered from mild depression and anxiety but had never taken the plunge because I was stubborn.”
After receiving treatment for bowel cancer, which is now in remission, she sought support from a counsellor. “It brought out all the feelings I had about the treatment, it helped me understand how I could deal with those feelings,” she said. “After having therapy, I now really regret not having done it sooner.”
Professionals warn that their clients, especially older people, wait until they reach a critical point before seeking help.
“We often underestimate the period of change you go through in retirement,” says Jackie Rogers, a therapist in Burton-on-Trent.
‘It’s a big life transition where support networks change and I often find people don’t know who to talk to anymore. However, retirement is also a time when problems that people have put on the back burner come to the fore. So going to therapy really helps process that transition.
“It’s never too late to change, and sessions can be hugely beneficial for those later in life.”
So what is therapy and how to access it?
Therapy is a broad term generally used to describe talk therapy, a treatment for mental and emotional problems that involves discussing personal problems with a trained therapist.
It can be done individually, in a group, online, by phone, with family or a partner. The goal is for the therapist to help patients understand and cope with their problems.
There are several forms of talk therapy, the most common and available on the NHS is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). The goal of CBT is to help patients recognize unhelpful patterns of behavior in their lives and move away from them. Studies show it is effective in treating depression, anxiety, phobias, some eating disorders, and many other mental health conditions.
On the NHS, you can consult talking therapies yourself or seek a referral from your GP. More than 1.7 million people contacted the service last year. Average wait times are about six weeks for a first appointment, but almost three months in some areas.
With the growing backlog of people waiting for treatment, research suggests many are turning to private therapists. The cost can vary depending on where you live, but is around £35 per session.
A traditional therapy scene from the 1944 film Lady In The Dark.
When choosing a therapist, experts say it is important to check that they are registered with a professional body, such as the British Association for Counseling and Psychotherapy. This is because it is not a regulated industry and anyone can describe themselves as a “therapist.” Another important factor is finding a therapist that matches your personality.
“It’s really important to find the right person,” says Mrs. Rogers. ‘It’s often about finding someone who is right for you and who can understand the challenges you face.
“For example, I have more female clients than male clients because they feel I can understand their experience.”
Another reader who says the therapy changed her life is Amanda Moss, 74, from Lancashire, who lives with the incurable illness chronic fatigue syndrome or myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME). The condition left her depressed, unable to leave the house and isolated from her friends.
After resigning from the NHS waiting list, she chose a private therapist of a similar age.
“When you get older, it’s hard to get support: you feel lost and isolated,” he says. ‘It was powerful to feel accepted and heard. Therapy gave me strength to face my poor health. It has helped me reestablish friendships and relationships with my family.’