One woman revealed that her partner’s mother asked to accompany them on vacation and was upset because they didn’t spend enough time with her.
On the British parenting platform Mumsnet, the woman revealed that her boyfriend’s mother only wanted to “sunbathe and read books” during the trip, while they were more interested in doing activities.
She explained that they invited her to accompany them while they went to the beach and water parks, but she refused.
After returning home, she received a text from her partner’s mother saying she was feeling “very lonely and sad over the holidays” and was hoping for an apology.
Many rushed to the comments to leave their own thoughts, with some wondering why the mother didn’t complain to her own son.
He read post: ‘My boyfriend’s mother is upset because DP (dear couple) and I don’t spend enough time with her during the holidays. I have been with my partner for just over a year, we are in our twenties.
‘She (my partner’s mother) works for a travel agency, so she gets a pretty big discount on some holidays. He said he wanted to go on vacation with us. I was hesitant because I didn’t know if it would be awkward, we’re not particularly close. But DP thought it would be fun.
‘We went on holiday and she’s a big sunbather, she just wanted to lie around sunbathing and reading books, which is great! There is no problem with that. But we like to explore and go to the beach, water parks, etc.’
A woman revealed on Mumsnet that her partner’s mother asked to accompany them on holiday and was upset because they did not spend enough time with her (file image)
The couple asked him if he wanted to join the activities, but every time they asked they were told no. Some days they stayed with her because they didn’t want her to feel like she was on vacation alone.
The woman added: “But we got bored and anxious, we just sat around all day so we’d go and do something.” Even if it was just a short walk to explore a little, she didn’t want to come.
‘Now that we are back, she has expressed to me that she felt very lonely and sad during the holidays and it also made her realize that she feels lonely in general because seeing DP and I together, holding hands, laughing together, etc. , made her angry.
“I think it felt a little bit like a third wheel, which wasn’t our intention.” We don’t do PDA, we have never kissed, hugged or acted inappropriately in public. But I think it reaffirmed to her that she is alone, seeing the two of us enjoying a vacation together.
“She seems to be waiting for some kind of apology, she’s mad at me (not sure why it’s just me) and she says she feels left out.” She has expressed all of this to me via text message and I have not yet responded.
‘Am I the unreasonable one here? I just feel like she went on vacation with a partner, didn’t want to do anything with us other than lay by the pool, and now she’s upset about it. But I don’t know why it’s my fault? I also paid for the holiday with my own money and didn’t want to stay in the hotel all day.’
Many suggested that the woman should let her partner deal with it and that she should ignore the text messages.
One person said: ‘Have you shown your dp? Let him address it. She is his mother. Maybe just reply, I’m sorry you feel that way and leave it at that.
On the British parenting platform, the woman revealed that her boyfriend’s mother only wanted to “sunbathe and read books” during the trip, however, they were more interested in doing activities.
Many suggested that the woman should let her partner handle matters and should ignore the text messages.
Another said: ‘Leave it to your boyfriend.’ Send him the texts. And remember if it comes up again that discounts aren’t worth it!’
Someone else added: “Let him handle it, don’t respond at all.” What did she expect going on vacation with a partner? As long as you don’t actively exclude her (which it sounds like you didn’t), then she has no cause for complaint.’
A fourth said: ‘Don’t answer. Let your boyfriend take care of her. And don’t go on vacation with her again.
‘It’s time for him to find his own friends to go with. Avoid, avoid, avoid or she will become your problem.
Others felt bad for the woman and suggested that perhaps she was just trying to “open up” to her son’s partner.
One person said: ‘Are you sure he’s blaming you? Is he simply expressing himself?
‘Maybe I’ll answer something like. Oh, I’m sorry that you’ve been feeling alone and that this has made you realize that you would like to have more connection in your life.
‘Is there any way I can help you get out and meet new people?’ How about XYX? It is clear that you are not responsible for her loneliness, but it would be kind to help her a little.
Others felt bad for the woman and suggested that perhaps she was just trying to “open up” to her son’s partner.
However, the OP suggested that they don’t have a close relationship, so that would be “out of character.”
The woman said her partner’s mother did not want to participate in any activities and felt like a “third wheel” (file photo)
Another said: ‘Are you sure he’s ‘blaming’ you or looking for an apology? It makes a lot of sense that she felt a little alone and like a third wheel and it’s good that she realized it’s a broader problem. She should be able to share this without you taking it personally (assuming you’re just sharing). “I would empathize, but I wouldn’t apologize.”
To which the woman replied: ‘It could be, but it’s very out of place.’ We don’t have that kind of relationship, we got off to a bad start and have never recovered much.
‘We just accept each other for the sake of DP. Her wording in the text seems to indicate that she blames us for excluding her and that the vacation was not what she expected or had in mind. If he’s just expressing himself, then that’s fine, but what’s the point… I really don’t know what to say.’
‘Thanks for all the answers. I’m going to follow the advice of what most people have said and wait until DP gets home and then I’ll respond or call her.’