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Silence: Sara Weller wants older people to talk about their disabilities
Sara Weller was a golden girl with a golden life. Her brilliant career as a retail executive was complemented by a perfect family, with a supportive husband and two children.
And then everything fell apart.
Weller, now 63, was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Having traveled by plane around the world for work (at one point he took day trips to India), he is now wheelchair-bound.
Even more devastating than the collapse of her health was the end of her marriage in a painful divorce.
However, far from being crushed, Weller has emerged stronger. She is using her unique platform as a leading UK employer and a woman with MS to help end disability discrimination in the workplace.
Before discovering she had MS in 2009, she had enjoyed a near-perfect rise to the top, along with what seemed like an idyllic domestic life.
At her peak, she was CEO of Argos and arguably the most powerful woman in UK retail. In a previous job at Sainsbury’s, she came close to becoming chief executive.
MS didn’t derail his work life for long. She may no longer be the golden girl, but she has earned a much bigger accolade: the bravest woman in British business.
Weller is now an independent director of telecommunications giant BT and Virgin Money. She is also determined to use her influence to speak out for people with disabilities.
“There are probably around 1,000 directors on FTSE 100 boards and I’m the only one who shares the fact that I have a disability,” she says.
‘If that were the number by gender or race, there would be riots. But the fact that there is only one person with a declared disability? Nobody bats an eyelid.
Should there be a target for disabled directors like there is for women? ‘It’s very complex. Many disabilities are not visible and older people do not want to talk about it, which creates a conspiracy of silence. People fear that this will be perceived as a weakness. But if older people don’t talk about their disabilities, then it’s a conspiracy of silence.’
Their next project is an inaugural day of action in February to help end disability exclusion. This will help companies better include people with disabilities. “Some of the toughest business owners have been incredibly supportive,” he says.
‘I would like older people to share their experience with disabilities. I would like to see transparent reporting. The focus should be on line managers. “They are the difference between people who feel included and those who feel excluded.”
Completely honest about her emotions, she says she feels her disability is “a failure and a defect.” Although logically I know that is not the case, I still feel like less of a person.” No one else would even remotely agree. His latest achievement is completing the London Marathon in his wheelchair, raising a quarter of a million pounds for the MS Society.
Most people would be exhausted just navigating their daily lives (there are problems entering buildings, crossing streets, and going to the bathroom), let alone being a director of a blue-chip company.
He is understandably ambivalent about his condition. At the same time that he perceives it as a flaw, he also recognizes it as a superpower that has allowed him to have a much greater impact.
‘Without him, I would have just been a director like many others. But thanks to the combination of my career and my MS, I can do things that no one else can,” he says.
Even before her diagnosis, as a woman from a modest family background, Weller had defied the odds to rise to the top in British business, which at the start of her career was still dominated by privately educated men.
Raised in Weymouth, Dorset, she attended the local grammar school and won a place at New College Oxford to study chemistry. “I had a lot of social problems and also a little academic ones,” he says. He excelled despite his doubts: he gained a first-class degree and a research award, as well as playing badminton at university.
Weller learned to be resilient at a young age. Her father died when she was only 14 years old. She and her older sister, Fiona, had to be self-sufficient because their mother, now 96, was busy caring for their father. ‘Overwhelmingly, that was a good thing. The marginal disadvantage is that I am reluctant to ask for help.
‘My mother wasn’t a rabid feminist, but she definitely believed that women could do things. She has always been behind me and that is the most powerful thing.
I try to do that with my children.’
His first job was at Mars, which at the time was an incubator for future CEOs. His contemporaries included Allan Leighton, who became boss of Asda, and Richard Baker, former boss of Boots.
Having worked on filled chocolate bars including Bounty, Twix and Snickers, she left when it became too difficult to juggle work with her two children, Sophie and Adam, both now adults.
Her subsequent roles included a senior role at Sainsbury’s, where Justin King appointed her to the top job in 2004. “Justin started the same day as me at Mars, so you can imagine how he felt,” she says.
Do you regret never having been a FTSE 100 CEO? She doesn’t answer directly, but says grocer Morrisons approached her in 2008 and “concluded she didn’t want to do it”.
It was around this time, when she was in her forties, that she discovered she had MS. ‘I was always someone who planned for tomorrow, because my parents were always preparing for the day my dad died. With my diagnosis, my mindset changed to live for today, because I don’t know what I’ll be able to do tomorrow.’
More would come as their marriage fell apart. Their divorce in 2014 was “painful on a level far beyond anything else.” “It was much worse than my diagnosis.”
‘I learned that I had MS in a world where I had a supportive family and a career. Suddenly, the support system disappeared.
“It took away the entire foundation of my story. My narrative had to be rewritten. I have never wanted another partner, for two reasons: one is that I failed the first time, even though I thought I had made a good choice, so why would I think I wouldn’t fail again?
‘And I think, why would anyone want to associate with someone who is terminally ill? To protect myself from a feeling of rejection, it is easier to say that I don’t want a partner. No one I loved would love me.’
His life is busy and full with his children, his family in general, his friends and his work. ‘A partner would have to fit into a small corner of my world, which isn’t fair. There are rare occasions when I feel a little helpless, if I’m at an event and everyone else has a partner, but I’ve chosen this path.’
Inevitably, he says, there have been “days when I just wanted to sit in the corner and burst into tears.” ‘But work has always been my security blanket and a reason to keep going. It has become my reason for being. “I can contribute more now.”
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