We tend to believe that sex is for the young and beautiful. At least, that’s what movies and television want us to believe.
But sexual health experts have discovered that the quality of sexual life improves with age, determining that people reach their peak at age 40 and can continue to enjoy more pleasurable sexual relations into their 60s and beyond.
There are several aspects at play, sex therapists have determined, that elevate the love lives of mature adults.
Older and middle-aged adults tend to focus less on what would have worried or embarrassed them in their youth, from cellulite to body hair. And they become more sexually aware with age and are therefore more willing to express their preferences to their partner.
Married couples, like Jill and Joe Biden, who said good sex is the key to their strong 47-year marriage, have better sex than their younger counterparts, who may focus more on dates, one-night stands and flings, often at the expense. of true emotional and physical intimacy.
And a better sex life has effects far beyond the bedroom. Research has shown that it improves overall health and increases endorphins, heart function, mood, sleep, and overall energy levels.
Much to the chagrin of his wife, Dr. Jill Biden, President Joe Biden has said the key to his strong marriage is a healthy sex life.
One of the main factors of a better love life: self-confidence and self-awareness. These tend to increase with maturity, so older people have fewer hang-ups than the average 20-year-old.
Tara Saglio, London-based couples counselor saying: ‘When they are older, people tend to have accepted many of their insecurities about body image.
‘They are also likely to have less performance anxiety. The worries that all men and women have: Am I bored in bed? I look good? Too hairy? – are less sharp.’
Researchers have discovered that, although the frequency of sexual relations decreases with age, older people remain sexually active and, although the number of times you practice horizontal tango decreases, the pleasure you experience in each session increases.
A 2023 report in the Lancet It found that 86 percent of men and 60 percent of women ages 60 to 69 are sexually active, as are 59 percent of men and 34 percent of women ages 70 to 79.
Nearly a third of men and 14 percent of women aged 80 and older still frolic between the sheets.
The report’s author, Janie Steckenrider, an expert on aging and sexuality at Loyola Marymount University in California, said: “The first misconception is that older adults are not sexually active or interested in sex, so they are not there is reason to ask them about their sexual health.
‘Interest in sex in this population is evidently high; In the American Association of Retired Persons’ healthy aging survey of people ages 65 to 80, two-thirds said they were interested in sex and more than 50 percent said sex was important to their quality of life.
People may assume the opposite given the aging-related decline in hormones over time. Testosterone levels peak in men’s early adulthood, around age 20, but decline by about 1 percent annually after age 30.
And as women in their 40s approach menopause, estrogen levels drop, which can cool their libido.
But thanks to the advent of erectile dysfunction medications, most famously Viagra for men, as well as treatments for low libido in premenopausal women such as Vyleesi (bremelanotide) and Addyi (flibanserin), many older adults may have a full and satisfying life. healthy sex life.
Surveys of older adults have consistently found that they tend to enjoy sex more. A person may feel better about their body at age 60 or 70 than when they were 20 years old. That self-confidence makes sex more liberating, exciting and satisfying.
The dating site OkCupid conducted a survey in 2011 and found that 30 to 35 percent of women in their 20s had difficulty reaching orgasm, compared to about 20 percent of women in their 40s and 50s.
Layla Martin, a sex therapist who offers educational seminars on how to improve couples’ sex lives, said: “One of the biggest lies we’ve been told about aging is that sex gets worse with age or even falls off a cliff.” .
“My teachers are in their 60s, my best friends are in their 60s, and really, without exception, they say, ‘this is the best, the hottest, the most epic, the most magnetic era of my life.'”
Researchers at the University of Manchester in the United Kingdom found that about 80 percent of men over 50 are satisfied with their sex lives. while 85 percent of sexually active women between 60 and 69 years old are satisfied with theirs.
The most satisfied people tend to be married couples.
There’s a big divide between trying something in bed that you think your partner will enjoy and doing what you know your partner will like.
That type of knowledge is acquired over time in a relationship of mutual trust.
What’s more, knowing what your partner likes is enough to rev up someone’s sexual engine.
Dr David Lee, a researcher at the University of Manchester, said: “There is a misconception that sex belongs to young people.
‘Young people’s reactions to older people having sex range from humor and disgust to disbelief that (people) over 50 are doing it.
‘But our study breaks these generational barriers. Although the frequency of sexual relations decreases as we age, sex is still an important part of our lives. It doesn’t stop or disappear, it just changes.’