They say politics is the spectacle of ugly people, but the politicians and journalists reveling in the Parliamentary Press Gallery’s Mid-Winter Ball might disagree.
Bill Clinton’s chief strategist Paul Begala was fond of that saying, but more recently Tom Hanks and Hugh Grant have used it to lament the state of politics in their own countries.
So what exactly is Canberra’s annual Mid-Winter Ball?
Beyond the cheap wine, the bad food and the invariably worse speeches from the Prime Minister and the leader of the opposition, it is all done in the name of charity, which is one of the few positive features of the event.
Last year, she raised over $350,000 for a range of charities including Rural Aid Australia and the Ukraine Crisis Appeal. This year’s charities include the Salvation Army and ACT Pet Crisis Support.
I had assumed that the international charitable character of the evening would continue this year, given the plight of the Palestinians. Perhaps the organisers feared that embracing the cause would stir up controversy.
Do not suggest giving them statehood or you may incur the wrath of the Prime Minister.
Will Senator Fatima Payman be there? She certainly won’t be sitting at Anthony Albanese’s table.
The highlight of the evening is usually the arrival in the lobby of the Parliament. From there, it all goes downhill.
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese and his current fiancée Jodie Haydon arrive at the Midwinter Ball last year
The Greens have used their uniforms to protest for various causes (above, Sarah Hanson-Young in 2022). Will they do the same this year when it comes to the Palestinian cause?
For political nerds who aren’t interested in the fashion brands politicians might choose to wear, the Greens’ decision a few years ago to politicize their outfits generated a new kind of attention.
In 2022, Senator Sarah Hanson-Young and Greens leader Adam Bandt’s partner Claudia Perkins wore dresses with slogans about cutting fossil fuels. You can’t buy advertising like that.
Will the Greens do something similar this year regarding the Palestinian cause?
Will the Treasurer’s wife wear another Carla Zampatti dress to match the one she wore to her husband’s budget speech this year? Or the same one, given the cost of living crisis at hand?
Between them, Team Chalmers will receive over $9,000 in tax cuts this financial year, so why not upgrade Scanlan Theodore?
The ball is usually held in June rather than July, perhaps because the organisers don’t want it to coincide with Dry July. Barnaby Joyce is celebrating Dry July every month these days, so he’ll have to stick to the waters.
Surrounded by all manner of politicians and businessmen, the Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition take turns trying to be funny with their speeches. Choosing to be self-deprecating is how politicians sometimes manage small moments of laughter without offending anyone.
Still, I’d be surprised if Albo can resist poking fun at Peter Dutton a little tonight.
In previous years, statements by leaders were always considered off the record. That all changed after Laurie Oakes, Channel Nine’s legendary political editor, began reporting on what was being said.
He found a loophole: get someone at the event to send him the details of what was said and then not attend.
That way, the big man wasn’t bound by the unofficial rules, meaning he didn’t have to endure the event either.
Every day is a dry July for former Nationals frontman Barnaby Joyce. Above, at last year’s Midwinter Ball with his now wife Vikki Campion
Legendary former Channel Nine political editor Laurie Oakes frustrated politicians by reporting what was said at the ball, even though it had not been recorded, finding a loophole in the rules.
Of course, now that the speeches are recorded, they are considerably less funny. The highlight of last year was comedian Mark Humphries, someone who really knows how to make you laugh.
The Great Hall of Parliament is packed with a mix of businessmen (who pay a fortune to be there) and politicians (invited free of charge to join various business and media tables). Surrounded by journalists, of course.
The website promoting the event isn’t afraid of companies buying their way into the evening: “It’s always a memorable evening filled with entertainment and networking opportunities,” it says.
Beyond pandering to ministers and shadow ministers, the main objective of the businessmen present is not to become the centre of the story by drinking too much or talking too much.
The low quality of the wine available contributes to this.